miss my bf so much=,(

=(

i just wanted a cab

my lungs feel polluted

I am so tired. I barely slept last night along with having the most horrible nightmare. I miss waking up next to Jesse and feeling completely safe. God I miss this boy so much. I even teared up when we were talking on the phone and almost started crying.

After a day of roaming around the unknown yesterday. I have decided I brought too many cute clothes. The men here are disgusting and I don't want any attention at all. I will also forfeit wearing makeup because A) who am i trying to impress? B) I will eventually sweat it off anyways and C) I really don't like people staring at me, it makes me feel so uncomfortable!  I'm just not the attention whore type!

You know crossing the street here is the most terrifying thing ever! It's like trying to walk across a freeway in the U.S! Yesterday Rabanne made me cross what seriously looked like a freeway! I also had to jump onto moving trains a couple times so I think I am ready to be a secret agent or be matt damon's partner in borne identity=)

Rabanne tole me that when he went to school in SF, he thought that the city was so empty! Now I know why becasue the streets here thoughout the day are loud, polluted, and chaotic! I thought I was gonna die by rabies but it's really gonna be being hit my a car/motorcycle/truck.

Indian Summer

I woke up this morning on a thin piece of mattress on the floor next to a bowl of cat food. Best sleep of muh life. I got to Mumbai late last night, almost 1am to be exact after missing my transfer flight by 5 min in delhi! You cant expect me to find my way around an airport in 30 min when I have no clue what I'm doing! God the plane ride was so long. A 4 hour flight then a 13 hour flight, then a 2 hour flight. I wanted to DIE.

Today my friend Rabanne(who I'm stayin with) went with me to school to figure out my classes. We took a rickshaw (Sp?!) to the train station. Its like this little car with no doors and only 3 wheels...I thought my BF's driving was terrifying....but its fucking chaos over here!

We bought a first class ticket for the train....which just means theres less people...not that the train is any cleaner/nicer...it takes like an HOUR to get to my school. I am probably never going to take the train again. I might carpool with Rabanne's friend or take a AIR CONDITIONED taxi.

God the men here are pretty gross...Have they never seen an asian girl before? I feel like a freak because evryone just stares at me hardcore with no shame! NO SHAME. Did not see a single cute boy at all! so Jesse if you're reading this, I am probably not going to cheat on you...lol

ITS SO HOT.

I just wanna lay on my mattress on the ground in Rabanne's air conditioned room all day everyday.
Also very jet lagged. I miss you all already.
-an

last day

My last day in the bay. I had a hard time sleeping last night. I am overall super excited. The part of me that was afraid to leave everything behind is gone now. I just get teary eyed thinking about saying goodbye to my sister and everyone else. Im sure these next 6 months will go faster than ever.

lots to do today.

96 tears

My god. Am I going to cry everyday this month until I leave for India?

denial

I'm in denial that I'm leaving in less than a month. This is so stressful because I am feeling every emotion possible. I have been miserable just thinking about how much I will miss my family and my boyfriend. I am beyond scared, and excited. I have come to a crossroads in my life and I feel that this trip is going to change my life forever.